You might be holding back happiness just because you fear that it will get everyone else curious or hypercritical - and that one day it would be too much to endure. You might be restrained from crying or accepting things because you think that it will only end the way you least expect it to be or think that you will just end up being fearful or weak. But nothing should stop you from being the right person you want yourself to be. Being happy about yourself, crying or ending things out are not signs of weakness or failure. Just the other side of the coin - we gain strength from crying, lettings things turn the way it should be. I have no perfect idea or way to turn things out the way I think it should perfectly be, but if I am unable to defend or say it all out loud just to be happy, maybe I can take some comfort just knowing that this is reality, this is happening and that everything - from simple victories to extreme happiness; from painful failures to fearful breakdowns - will come when I am ready for them. Now, I know the reason why tears, happiness, Family, friends and Faith exist. Now I know the reason why I have to be thankful for everything that happens. Now I know how it feels.
I learned that who doesn’t look for you, doesn’t miss you and who doesn’t miss you doesn’t care for you… That destiny determines who enters your life, but you decide who stays… that the truth hurts only once and a lie every time you remember it. That there are three things in life that leave and never return: words, time and opportunities. Therefore, value whoever values you and don’t treat as a priority whoever treats you as an option. Not everyone is going to like you. You’re not going to like everyone. It’s likely best we’re all upfront with who we are. That way, we can save time and get to those genuine relationships sooner rather than later.
In one of the chapters of Coelho’s book (Aleph) entitled “Believe Even in no one else believes you”, he wrote a very heartwarming passage about two of the most intricate feelings of men. Here it goes:
“I forgive the tears I made to shed,
I forgive the pain and disappointments,
I forgive the betrayals and the lies,
I forgive the slanders and intrigues,
I forgive the hatred and the persecution,
I forgive the blows that hurt me,
I forgive the wrecked dreams,
I forgive the stillborn hopes,
I forgive the hostility and jealousy,
I forgive the injustice carried out in the name of justice,
I forgive the anger and the cruelty,
I forgive the neglect and the contempt,
I forgive the world and all its evils.”
She lowers her arms, opens her eyes, and puts her hands to her face. I go over to embrace her, but she stops me with a gesture,
“I haven’t finished yet.”
She closes her eyes again and raises her face heavenward.
“I also forgive myself. May the misfortunes of the past no longer weigh on my heart. Instead of pain and resentment, I choose understanding and compassion. Instead of rebellion, I choose the music from my violin. Instead of grief, I choose forgetting. Instead of vengeance, I choose victory.”
“I will be capable of loving, regardless of whether I am loved in return,
Of giving, even when I have nothing,
Of working happily, even in the midst of difficulties,
Of holding out my hand, even when utterly alone and abandoned,
Of drying my tears, even while I weep,
Of believing, even when no one believes in me.”
She opens her eyes, places her hands on my head, and says with an authority that comes from on high, “So it is. So it will be.”
Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.
When you truly care for someone, that person’s mistakes never change your feelings because it’s the mind that gets angry but the heart still cares.” That somehow enlightened me. I know where I stand in your life and it is hard to cope with change. It makes me so jealous but I know I can control my feelings. It’s a heavy burden but I don’t know why I can still paint a genuine smile in my face.There will also be a clash of intentions but I don’t think that would be difficult. Why? Because we are all entitled for a choice. There may be reasons to feel the grief or anger but at least, for a justifiable cause. I may change but you will always remain. Don’t think of this as something that would threaten what we were able to build. And now I am out of words.
Sometimes I am sick of myself remembering. I do not know if I would have the perks of being the first to forget everything – especially in relationships. Truly, the good time should always be cherished but what if these memories also cause pain in the present? When I decided to watch this movie again, I did not think that I would remember you. And a specific part of the film wherein that song stocked in my mind made the moment so nostalgic. It was the month of love and I was happy you were there to be with me. You travelled a long distance for us to be together. On a fine night while we were walking at the park, you happened to ask me to sing with you. Just like the arrangement of that song in the movie, we sang our hearts out. I felt the message of the song. You liked me just the way I am, the same way I am to you. The magic of the moment worked that every time I think of it, smiles invade my face. Tonight, I wished I could time travel and go back. I hope those days were not over yet. But I am done with that chapter and I am glad it happened. No matter where you are, I am a part of you and you are a part of me. I stopped wondering because deep inside my fragile heart, I have loved a person who I know loved me back.
Open your heart for someone. Someone is coming. But you have to open your heart first.