Anonymous asked:

Kuya Harold, graveeller! Dapat hindi mo sinabi na hinding hindi mo na siya papansinin.. Lalabas kase na bitter ka sa kanya at mahina.. Hayy.. :(

Hello there!  :)) First of all, di ako bitter. Naglabas lang ng saloobin. Sabe ko nga dun sa post ko: Call me “friend” now, I will respond but do not expect that usual person who always help you. Still, andun pa din ako syempre pero not the usual me. Minsan kasi nababahiran ng ibang meaning na mali kasi. Kaya never AGAIN nyang i assume na ganun nga. Was it too bitter ba? Unconsciously written nor felt. :(

Yes, friend?

“It’s easy to love someone when they’re happy. What’s hard is loving someone when they’re crying on the bathroom floor at 2am because everything came crashing down at once.” Then I realized, it’s hard to love me. But I did not think that you are hard to love in return. Oh well, never in my wildest dreams that could happen. Honestly, writing something about this grueling feeling inside is a waste of time. I just want you to know that I do not want to waste my time on you, okay? Never! It’s freaking stupid for you to act that way again and again. To put it clear, nothing existed; it was just my feelings. If you’re a close friend of mine, you should have known how I could care that much. Sometimes, it goes beyond but hey, nothing to fuss about that. From now on, you will not expect anything from me. Call me “friend” now, I will respond but do not expect that usual person who always help you. This is the awfully unexpected time that I become conscious it’s better off not to care anymore. It’s better off that way.

You completed my August.

My August this year fulfills a life in color. From the darkest graves to the shiniest stars, I feel like this month pinched a part of my pacemaker. Few of the reasons are the following:

  • Bye work, hello student life: The urgency of finishing my graduate studies dawned on me after months of communing with the verdant terraces of Ifugao. One of my goals before I reach my silver year in this planet is to finish my MS degree and consequently, obtain my PhD before I attain my three decades of stay here. With this in mind, I decided to continue my graduate studies on a full time basis, without working. Fortunately, I was awarded with a scholarship (Hurray!). The said blessing fully convinced me to do one of the things close to my heart: studying. The perks of being a student come naturally: there is no fixed schedule, there is more time with friends, there are a lot of opportunities to be active in my organizations and a lot more. So far, I am constantly waking up to the challenge of the subjects I enrolled this semester. I also want to share that in my pollination biology class, I am the sole student. Yes, you read it right. I am the only student in my class, no classmates! No pressure, as they say.
  • Family time after a long time: Before I engaged on the said endeavor, I needed to regain the child in me. And the only way to achieve that is to go back home. Without any wishful thinking, I went home in Cagayan. After months of not hibernating in my refuge, I finally diverted from my usual path. It was a perfect decision since most of my cousins and relatives also had a vacation at home. The most fun part was when we had a get-away and experienced the fascinating beaches in Sta. Ana. The bonding moments in the form of card games, volleyball, swimming and several photo ops were nonetheless full of gaiety. Seeing the laughs and giggles made me want to just wrap my arms around them. Indeed, home is where the heart is.
  • Matalino’t Maginhawa: It was also the perfect time to visit one of the places that make me feel like the world stopped moving and everything is but a piece of cake. A place called Fancy Crepes located at Matalino Street captured my heart when a friend brought me there. I asked my buddy Pat (theboyswhosaidyes) to come along. He’s a close friend from Elbi who transferred to UP Diliman. He lives at Mailap Street, somehow just a stone throw away. I programmed myself to start doing a required paper in class while he was reading some articles in his history subject. Coincidentally, some of my Tumblr friends came also to the place. To my surprise, we were already together catching up minus Pat, of course. He was busy. We continued the fun at Maginhawa Street and landed in a soulful place for drinking.
  • Amazing Bloggers RACED: My first Tumblr Ala E Meet Up (TAEMU) in Batangas was remarkable. On its 12th year, the organizers made it more interesting by conducting an amazing race. I was lucky to be one of the racers. I joined because I would like to experience TAEMU, a very Batangueňo way of coming together. Truly, fun sprouted effortlessly. We, the bloggers outside Batangas were paired with bloggers from the province. Luckily, I was paired with Angge (angdakilangkaaway). Yes, I was really lucky because she knew the routes around the city; she freely admitted that she is “gala”. We went through the challenge and hyped with our fellow racers. Our teamwork brought us close to the Final Four. Unluckily, the sad (not-so-sad I think) part was we were “just” close to that. Thanks to the “powers” of our beloved fellas we were eliminated. (Tagging….) Oops! Oh well the more important part is the thought of new friends gained. To Em (angambisyosangpalaka) whom I heard and shared a lot of stories, I miss you na! (Hashtag clingy).  Kudos to the organizers (special mention to Kuya Melvin, the beben-eleben ) and everyone who made the event possible. P.S. Ang CUTE (to the nth power) ni kuya Cris (the israelmekaniko). I cried!XD
  • Knight Protector of the Soil: Contrary to my initial plan of not joining any organization in my MS years, I saw myself uniting with a conservation and development society. Instead, I fulfilled a plan to be “legitimate batchmates” with some of my friends. I have a strong feeling that this will be a new addendum to my organizational experience here in the university.
  • Awkwardness came into the picture: Happiness is… Love is… Sometimes not all entities in the gray area are lost. Things may have faded a little but still, they remain. They occupy the unseen part of your heart but small vibrations would fight the emptiness. Honestly, I could not process a definite feeling for this unforeseen situation. Just merely seeing you was…heaven? No, I am exaggerating again. But the feeling was near to that. I hope you felt the intensity of my so-called clashing and confusing stance. One thing is for sure, it was nice to see you. Not just meeting you again but had “some” time to spend with you. It was just sad to know how ephemeral it was. Well I know will bump into you in the future. Yes, you know that. So at this time and in the coming times, I just want to see you be brave.  

The 31 days of August were like a year for me. I just hoped it was already a year passed because I am hoping to see you again. Time, can you really be my friend? Please do some rewind and fast forward moments for me.

eyesofbiophiliac
eyesofbiophiliac:

Source:  If You Aren’t Sure If They’re Flirting With You, They’re Flirting With You (Unless They Aren’t) by Ted Pillow
That’s not to say that flirting outside of serious romantic interest is wrong. Lots of people like flirting for fun – they enjoy “the chase.” Now, here’s a form of recreation that can’t possibly end poorly. Is the other person even in on the game? Who cares! If we learned anything from reading “The Most Dangerous Game” in 8th grade, it’s that other people’s emotions are always secondary to our predatory pursuit of entertainment.

Well, we are all actors in this game and we play our roles in a very convincing and deceiving manner. The robbery of ones love may lead to something promising, if its genuine. And if not, may cause an emotional unrest. Or more than that.

eyesofbiophiliac:

You might be holding back happiness just because you fear that it will get everyone else curious or hypercritical - and that one day it would be too much to endure. You might be restrained from crying or accepting things because you think that it will only end the way you least expect it to be or think that you will just end up being fearful or weak. But nothing should stop you from being the right person you want yourself to be. Being happy about yourself, crying or ending things out are not signs of weakness or failure. Just the other side of the coin - we gain strength from crying, lettings things turn the way it should be. I have no perfect idea or way to turn things out the way I think it should perfectly be, but if I am unable to defend or say it all out loud just to be happy, maybe I can take some comfort just knowing that this is reality, this is happening and that everything - from simple victories to extreme happiness; from painful failures to fearful breakdowns - will come when I am ready for them. Now, I know the reason why tears, happiness, Family, friends and Faith exist. Now I know the reason why I have to be thankful for everything that happens. Now I know how it feels.
Lacambra, 2014 
I learned that who doesn’t look for you, doesn’t miss you and who doesn’t miss you doesn’t care for you… That destiny determines who enters your life, but you decide who stays… that the truth hurts only once and a lie every time you remember it. That there are three things in life that leave and never return: words, time and opportunities. Therefore, value whoever values you and don’t treat as a priority whoever treats you as an option. Not everyone is going to like you. You’re not going to like everyone. It’s likely best we’re all upfront with who we are. That way, we can save time and get to those genuine relationships sooner rather than later.
Doe Zantamata, Happiness In Your Life

On forgiveness and healing

In one of the chapters of Coelho’s book (Aleph) entitled “Believe Even in no one else believes you”, he wrote a very heartwarming passage about two of the most intricate feelings of men. Here it goes:

“I forgive the tears I made to shed,

I forgive the pain and disappointments,

I forgive the betrayals and the lies,

I forgive the slanders and intrigues,

I forgive the hatred and the persecution,

I forgive the blows that hurt me,

I forgive the wrecked dreams,

I forgive the stillborn hopes,

I forgive the hostility and jealousy,

I forgive the injustice carried out in the name of justice,

I forgive the anger and the cruelty,

I forgive the neglect and the contempt,

I forgive the world and all its evils.”

She lowers her arms, opens her eyes, and puts her hands to her face. I go over to embrace her, but she stops me with a gesture,

“I haven’t finished yet.”

She closes her eyes again and raises her face heavenward.

“I also forgive myself. May the misfortunes of the past no longer weigh on my heart. Instead of pain and resentment, I choose understanding and compassion. Instead of rebellion, I choose the music from my violin. Instead of grief, I choose forgetting. Instead of vengeance, I choose victory.”

I will be capable of loving, regardless of whether I am loved in return,

Of giving, even when I have nothing,

Of working happily, even in the midst of difficulties,

Of holding out my hand, even when utterly alone and abandoned,

Of drying my tears, even while I weep,

Of believing, even when no one believes in me.”

She opens her eyes, places her hands on my head, and says with an authority that comes from on high, “So it is. So it will be.”

When you truly care for someone, that person’s mistakes never change your feelings because it’s the mind that gets angry but the heart still cares.” That somehow enlightened me. I know where I stand in your life and it is hard to cope with change. It makes me so jealous but I know I can control my feelings. It’s a heavy burden but I don’t know why I can still paint a genuine smile in my face.There will also be a clash of intentions but I don’t think that would be difficult.  Why? Because we are all entitled for a choice. There may be reasons to feel the grief or anger but at least, for a justifiable cause.  I may change but you will always remain. Don’t think of this as something that would threaten what we were able to build. And now I am out of words.