You could have the worst hair day of your life, he wouldn’t care…with his way of life, he’s had worse.
You won’t need to take her to a fancy restaurant, fine dining was never her thing…she would rather eat with her hands in the company of farmers.
You could shout at him all you want, he would just smile…he does it everyday..to assert for your rights.
She doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor. After all, she does understand class struggle.
You can be frank about him, in fact, he would like that very much.
Criticism and self-criticism are second nature to him. He always wants to improve himself.
She isn’t afraid to make the first move. Don’t worry she’s no bimbo.
It’s just that she believes in the equality of sexes. And she’s knows that women hold half the sky.
When you have a fight, it’s never all your fault. He knows that partly, he was to blame. Because he is a dialectical materialist.
She’s never boring. As long as social injustice and inequality exists, you won’t run out of things to talk about.
She’s very good at sharing her life with someone. Maybe it has something to do with their practice of collective living.
Being articulate is a skill he has come to master. And he will have no trouble telling you how much he loves you.
P.S. There’s a catch. You should know that you’re not the only person who owns his heart. You share it with the poor, the sick, the hungry, and the opressed.
P.P.S. By the time you fall for an activist, give it a week or so, you’ll be an activist yourself. Because if you love and understand her, you would know it’s the right thing to do.
In friendship, there are no complications. Don’t keep on messing that characteristic of friendship. Friendship teaches us one thing - that is to enjoy what is just given to us. Thus, they last longer than any other relationships.
Adele remembers her inspiration in writing her song, Turning Tables. It started with the statements: “’Who does he think he is? He’s always turning the tables on me.” Then it dawned on me. There are things that we hardly let go of and continue to hold on such as hidden desires, senseless attachments, tiring and boring professions, endless litany and other heavy baggage. The list goes on but keep in mind that life is more of making yourself free, living in an infinite moment where you’ll wake up in bliss, more than a taste of your greatest imagination. There are times that you need to start over again with the hope of a peaceful heart and soul. You need not to think you’re defeated, remember that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. What maybe a nothing today maybe you’re everything tomorrow. Just have faith and let Him take the wheel.
Something odd happened a month ago.
I and my best friend just got home from a booze night out with our orgmates. We were both dead drunk. The odd part came when, immediately after entering the unit, he kissed me. I just laughed it off and told him “lasing ka gago, di ako si Megan Fox huy.” My head was breaking in two and I was so desperate for cold compress. As I was walking towards the fridge, I heard him say “I love you.” Again, I laughed. I turned around, ready to let loose another “gago”. But the scene broke the novelty of it all. He was sitting on the floor, crying. Then he looked up at me and said “I hate this. Pero wala ako magawa. I’m gay. Tapos ikaw pa yung…..”
There was silence. It felt like my heart was rapidly pumping cold blood. For the next few minutes, we just looked at each other’s eyes. I was shocked. My mind was clouded with confusion. That night slapped me with the realization that the brother I thought I knew is an entirely different person. I actually felt deceived. All these rushed into my head. And when I could finally say something, all that came out was a cold and bland “matulog ka na.” He turned his head away and wiped his tears. He walked towards his room without looking at me again.
Sleepiness eluded me and the headache became less of a concern. How in the world did it happen? And how the hell did I not notice it?
I’ve known him since elementary. We also went to the same high school and became classmates. It was during a trip to the US for a Science contest that we got to know each other well. He won. I didn’t. LOL. We became inseparable thereafter. Even our parents eventually became business partners because of us. Yes, that’s how close we got. We were both among the popular guys in school. We always get the girls’ attention. Gwapo kami pareho sabi nila. Sabi nila. And we snatched the most beautiful ladies in campus. I’ve had two serious relationships in high school and he had 93495093256079 “less serious” ones. We call him silent but deadly. Thin but mean. And it’s the girls who literally beg for him. It’s only now that I’m beginning to realize why the longest relationship he’s had lasted for only about 3 months. I thought he was just “manyak”.
Then UP came. We both got admitted in UP Manila. My preferred course is actually in UP Diliman, but our parents insisted that we stay in one campus. So I had to choose another pre-med course in Manila as my first choice. Luckily, we are in the same college. We also share a condo unit. So we see each other EVERYDAY. I have a girlfriend, and we are going steady. He’s had none in college. Which is unusual of him. But between the two of us, everything went……….usual.
Then came that fateful night. After the “revelation”, it seemed like I’m sharing a space with a total stranger. I did not get a minute of sleep up until the morning after. I kept thinking about what happened and what would come next. For almost four weeks now, we’ve not spoken to each other. No more morning jogs. No more series marathons. No more Morato chill outs. Every encounter became more and more awkward. And our setup makes it harder for us.
Today my mom called. The usual weekly check. It was a long convo. Then we got to the topic about marriage. We talk about random stuff everytime and I don’t remember how we got there. She asked about how serious I am with my current girlfriend. And then she suddenly said “O, ‘yang best man mo, sabihan mo rin na wag muna pakakasal hanggat di nakagra-graduate.” And the tears came. The last time I cried was in elementary. I’m a tough ass. But this time, “Yes ma, sasabihan ko.”
I’m not a follower of UPM Files. But my best friend is an avid reader. He will stumble upon this. He will.
Bro, sorry for being insensitive. I was hurt, yes. But I was selfish for just minding what I feel. I failed to realize that all these has a greater toll on you. And whatever pain I’ve had ever since that night is nothing compared to what you’ve been experiencing for a long long time. I failed as a friend, as a brother, because I have not been open enough to be confided with what you really feel, with what you really are. Do know now that nothing’s wrong with you. That glitch between our friendship happened because there was something wrong with ME. Let me make it up to you.
Also, I know how it feels to be in loved. I don’t want to give you any false hope. You’ll find someone better than me. You already know my fart smells funny and that I sometimes don’t take a bath on Sundays – I hope this is a good start. Whoever you’ll be with, I’ll support you all the way. And when you’re ready to tell your parents, I’ll be right by your side. Basta, ikaw parin ang best man sa kasal ko. At nakakontrata ka na rin na ninong ng mga anak ko.
I sneaked in a bottle of 151 in your undies drawer. There’s a note attached. It reads: ”UPM Files”. Tinamad na akong isulat ulit eh. Dito mo na lang ‘to basahin. I hope this reaches to you sooner kasi exams pa. But anyways, the hell with midterms. Let’s drink to this new beginning.
Pag bangag na tayo ah, hanggang cheeks ka na lang. Bawal na sa lips. And last thing, I love you too bro, of course.
- ProudBestFriend, 2012
*from UPM files
When is the right time to leave? It is not that I am sick of everything but someone’s have to give up soon. Certainly, I am not insane but I am quite out of my mind right now. I do not see reality as something better as my imagination. If you promised me forever, be with me. I don’t need a lot of beautiful words, I just need you. You let my hopes flew as high as the mighty rockets and then leaving me thereafter. Now you won’t blame me if I’ll ask “Where is the love?”.
My mom always said the things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end. If not always in the way we expect.